Brooke Takes the Fed: A New Monetary Era or Just More Drama?
The Federal Reserve Board meeting opens with an unlikely new chair: Brooke. Clad in Balenciaga and armed with a cold wallet, she struts up to the podium and says, “Money printer go brrr, but Brooke says nah.”
“Money printer go brrr, but Brooke says nah.”
Welcome to the year 2025, where inflation is out, Bitcoin is in, and the only thing quantitative about easing is the number of Rolexes minted into NFTs.
Brooke’s New Rules:
- Interest Rate Policy:
The Fed Funds Rate is now pegged to Brooke’s mood. Bad hair day? Expect tight liquidity. Smooth sailing? Free market, baby. - Stimulus Checks:
Direct airdrops to your Phoenix Wallet. But only if you liked, commented, and subscribed. - Fiat Retirement Plan:
All paper money is now considered “vintage.” You can frame it, but it won’t buy you lunch.
Fiat Bros Fight Back:
CNBC pundits are calling it irresponsible. Paul Krugman tweets that Brooke “has no economic training.” But do vibes not count? Brooke is backed by code, not committees.
Meanwhile on the Bitcoin Standard:
- Gen Z starts saving.
- Meme stocks get replaced by meme nodes.
- Gucci accepts Lightning.
- Your Uber driver asks if you want change in sats or USDC.
What Does This Mean for You?
Whether you believe in Satoshi or spreadsheets, the “Bitcoin vs fiat 2025” debate is heating up. Brooke might not run the Fed (yet), but she’s running the narrative. And that’s half the battle.
In a world where central banks fear transparency and influencers hold economic sway, one thing is clear: if you’re not holding your own keys, you’re just playing yourself.
